The heavens give of their abundance. Rejoice in riches.
“Possession in Great Measure” Hexagram 14, The I Ching
In these posts, I’ve been thinking about how we’ve gotten where we are in this world--an important kind of thinking in these times of difficulty. In “Glories,” I asked you to consider your accomplishments, your successes, your glories. In “Gifts,” I invited you to look at the gifts--of strength, courage, experience, training, determination--that you developed in order to aim for what you wanted.
Now let's explore one more aspect of trinity of ideas. Let’s explore our graces. here are a great many definitions of this small word: grace, most of them theological. But let’s see what happens when we define it this way:
Grace is what we are given in this world. Some of it is good, some bad. We don’t “earn” it--it comes to us through no particular merit or mistake of our own. Grace may come from God, if you’re a believer in Divinity, or from a beneficent Universe, or through the generosity of random chance. It includes things like the time, place, and circumstances of your birth and upbringing, as well as the happy accidents and synchronicities that have contributed to your growth and success. It also includes many things you wish hadn’t happened. These are still graces, although you may not recognize them as such. They are the fortuitous oppositions that strengthen your resolve.
In my own life, I’ve received more graces than I can count. I’ve written quite a few books, some of which I count among my glories. I confess to having a good mind, an insatiable curiosity, and a belief in the possible I. (Bragging? Yes, but take a look back at “Gifts.” We women need to learn to claim our strengths!)
But when I really start to think about it, many of my “gifts” turn out to be graces. My intellect is part of the package of genes I inherited from generations of unthanked ancestors (the luck of the genetic draw). My curiosity was encouraged by parents who answered my endless questions and sent me to the library, so I could chase down my own answers. (Fortunate me, with a free library around the corner!) And my optimistic belief in an open-ended self arises in part because I was born into post-WWII America, where women as well as men could get an education, and into a culture that asserts our right to realize our full potential. I was also graced with a couple of marital failures (bitter medicine), which taught me to understand what I needed in a partner, and a business failure that helped me understand my limitations. Grace, that’s what it was. Grace.
I am often surprised when I think to count my graces, for the more I count, the more there seem to be. And if pride in my accomplishments is the emotion I feel (naturally!) when I focus on my glories and gifts, gratitude is what I feel as I become aware of the many graces that have shaped me.
And what of your particular graces?
When you look at your glories and the gifts that have empowered you to achieve them, can you also see grace, sweet grace, braided through like a golden thread?
If you’re journaling with us, here’s a little journal exercise that may help you pull all this together: glories, gifts, graces. It won’t take more than a few moments, but it will richly reward your effort. The tougher the challenges we face, the more important it is to recognize our graces.
- In your bedside journal, each night, write down one glory for your day: one success (there are probably lots, but choose a favorite), one achievement.
- Next, write down two specific gifts (strengths, education, experience, attitude, whatever) that helped you achieve your success.
- Next, write down three graces that have helped you to become the woman who could achieve what you achieved today. (Bet you’ll be surprised!)
- Finally, write thank you.
Would you like to know one of my own daily graces, every day of my life?
You, beloveds. Each of you, all of you. Every brave woman who joins the circle of like-minded, open-hearted women; every vulnerable woman who fearlessly shares her story; every compassionate woman who listens with respectful attention to the stories of other women. Graces, all of you.
Thank you.
I do not at all understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. --Anne Lamott
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