Glories

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others, never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.--Joan Mills
 
Years ago, I wrote a book called Writing From Life. In it, in a chapter called “Glories, Gifts, and Graces,” I wrote about the importance of taking credit for the important things we’ve done in our lives: times when we have taken risks, dared to do something new or different, excelled at our work, and challenged ourselves to surpass expectations. These achievements and successes, I wrote, are our glories. They give us a sense of pride and authentic personal empowerment. They are part of our success story.
 
But when times get tough, we tend to forget past achievements. Instead, we focus on what’s happening to us, on the forces that are acting upon us and changing our lives in ways we don’t understand. We feel helpless, at the mercy of circumstance. We stop thinking of ourselves as strong, positive actors, and picture ourselves as passive people, acted-upon. We forget the daring, excellent, risky, challenging things we’ve done. We forget our triumphs and look instead at our tragedies.
 
This week, we’re celebrating Thanksgiving. It seems to me that this is a particularly appropriate time for us to remember and record the things we’ve done that we are rightfully proud of: our success stories. One way to do this is to make a list of our glories.
 
Ah, lists. Oh, my dears, I love to work with lists! It’s always hard to begin writing on a blank page, so I try to fill my journal with lists of things I want to write about. When I have plenty of lists, I feel wealthy. I know I’ll never run out of topics. Here’s how I do it. I set a timer for, say, three minutes, and start writing things down. I don’t go into detail, just a couple of words. The purpose is to get the ideas down on paper so I can work with them later.
 
If you’re keeping a journal beside your bed, that’s a good place to make your lists. Every day this week, before you go to bed, set a timer for three minutes, and start making a list of the things you’ve done--today, the past week, the past year or decade or at any time in your life--that you’re proud of. Your glories. What kind of thing? Anything, from having a baby to earning a college degree to kicking an addiction to being director of the community cultural center to learning to sky-dive to (as one of my students, a weaver, once wrote) raising 15,000 silkworms in the attic! Crazy things, goofy things, wild things, hard things, glorious things. Your glories.
 
As you write, try to feel the strength and power of those achievements. Feel proud of yourself, and let that pride and power and strength color your feelings about your current situation, no matter how challenging it may seem. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Right? 
 
When I was very young, I had a wonderful book called The Little Engine That Could. The little engine ("I think I can I think I can I knew I could!") taught me that I was capable of doing more than I imagined. I was stronger than I knew, I was more powerful than others expected. I could do what had to be done. And so can you, my dears. Of course you can. You’ve already achieved all the glorious things you’ve listed--you can do them again, and more.
 
Now, go make those lists.
 
I know how to do anything--I’m a mom.--Roseann

Comments

[Jinni Turkelson]

This post is exactly what I need today! Thank you! At a time in my life that I'm going through incredible change (aren't we all?) I'm thankful for your writing and for all the strong women who encourage, support and care about other women.

[Susan Albert]

You're welcome, Jinni. People sometimes ask me why I like to read women's memoirs. My answer: I need to learn the lessons other women have learned; I need to borrow the strengths other women have gained. We all have so much to give to one another!

[Linda Mandeville]

Glories! I have never thought of achievements called that...but I sure do like it! I will confess, I look at what I have NOT done much more than what I HAVE done. I'm really pretty critical of myself. Maybe if I write glories down I will be surprised. That would be a nice feeling..a nice yellow color!
Thanks Susan. I can't tell you how much I am enjoying this blog.

[Susan Ideus]

Right now, going through a tough stretch, it's hard for me to even remember past achievements-- when I felt good about myself, competent and having some control over my life. I think an exercise of deliberate recall of those times might be just what I need. I don't know about the term "glories", though it does have a positive spin. I have some journalling to do!

Susan A adds: But also celebrate today's glories, Sid. Your achievements with our book review team, your blogging here--just two things, and I know there's more. Please be sure to include in your journal list one of your current glories!